(Boston Herald) – Don’t you wish Mitt Romney would take off the gloves?
OK, so he’s probably never even owned a pair of boxing gloves. But Willard can jump ugly — remember how he tore apart Turnpike hack Fat Matt Amorello after the falling tiles in the Ted Williams Tunnel killed a woman in 2006?
Mitt, Harry Reid is the Fat Matt Amorello of 2012.
Somebody has joked that these ludicrous attacks Reid is making on Romney and his tax returns are nothing more than Mormon-on-Mormon crime. And Mitt has responded, but with a chuckle, on a radio show. Mitt, this isn’t a there-he-goes-again moment. Dingy Harry is accusing you of a crime.
Of all the people in the world, U.S. Sen. Harry Reid, D-Godfather II. Doesn’t he remind you of Sen. “Pat Geary,” the totally corrupt solon in the classic movie. Like the hypocritical Geary, Reid puts the blast on Romney for doing something he himself does — refusing to release his taxes.
Mitt, I know James Michael Curley said, “Never complain, never explain.” Generally speaking, he was right. But you’re running against the Outfit here, and there’s nothing they won’t do. Refresh yourself about Barack’s Senate election in Illinois and the suddenly released divorce records of both his Democrat and Republican foes. Recall the 2008 presidential campaign, and the abject lies Obama’s media rumpswabs knowingly peddled. Remember The New York Times [NYT]’ stories about John McCain’s mistress who wasn’t, or Todd Palin’s membership in the Alaska National Party, which likewise was totally false. How many piss-poor columns has Gail Collins written about Seamus the dog on the roof, but Barack Obama actually eating dogs … crickets please.
Mitt, can’t you find some Republican as sleazy as Harry Reid to start making charges about Barry Soetoro. I mean, you’re running against the capo of the Choom Gang, a guy with multiple names, multiple birthplaces, somebody who gave up his law license for never-explained reasons, a guy with a Social Security number from a state he never lived in.
And you turn the other cheek? You should have given Rich Gorka a raise for ripping into those Barack bumkissers in Poland. Instead, you benched him.
There’s a memorable Mumbles Menino soundcut from a session ABC News once videotaped at City Hall. One of his aides is telling him he’s about to be attacked in a news story by anonymous sources. Mumbles says, just give the reporter a different source, denying the report.
Aide: Who do you want the source to be?
Mumbles: Give (them) … Mary Shiddacake. Shiddacake.
Aide (baffled): Mary who?
Mumbles: Anybody. Make up the story. If they’re gonna go by “sources,” we’ll go by “sources.”
Need I remind you, Mitt, Mumbles is a Democrat. He’s a dolt, but he knows how to play the game. You don’t send Eric Fehrnstrom out there to paraphrase Joseph Welch’s 1954 retort to Joe McCarthy. How many dumbed-down, “Good Morning America”-watching, EBT card-carrying Obama voters even picked up on the reference?
I’m not saying you pull a Morton Downey Jr. on TV yourself. Long-term, anger doesn’t work on the boob tube. You don’t need the veins on your neck bulging out, like Granny Warren whenever anyone asks her if she’s found any proof yet of her Native American lineage.
Obama can get away with the ad hominem attacks — remember his comments about how physicians needlessly perform amputations to run up their patients’ bills? But he’s one of the Beautiful People and he’s … well, he’s not a Mormon, let’s leave it at that.
This isn’t slapstick, like John Lakian calling you “Mr. Mormon” in the 1994 Senate primary debate. This is the presidency at stake here.
Where is Mary Shiddacake when you really need her?